A line about closing

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OK, so I closed on the house. A few people have asked me things like `Do you feel like an adult now?' and I have to answer no, less than ever.

The process is (1) wholly standardized and (2) absolutely overwhelming. At the closing, you're in a room with a few people who do nothing but close houses all day long, and they present to you a sheet, which they've done a thousand times before, listing every imaginable charge. The HUD-1 statement is a nice, standardized form that our benevolent government has put a lot of effort into making clear and fraud-free. Nonetheless, the line numbers go up to #603 on the thing, and it's all filled out before you get there. Every question I asked received a slightly condescending `you want that' or `that's already been arranged'. By the time you're at the closing, zero percent of it is negotiable, so why bother asking.

Figure 1: my house.

It was on the one hand comforting to not have to worry about all this stuff, because there are a thousand details that the title company takes care of that I never would have thought of myself (has the water bill been paid?), but on the other, the lack of control leaves me feeling used, like a dozen people simply proclaimed that I owe them money and there's nothing I can do about any of it.

There's a gnawing feeling that I got taken on at least some of it---I didn't agree to pay the $55 pest inspection, but there it was. Part of this is my brain's attempt to work on multiple scales at once and failing miserably. Fifty-five bucks will buy a very nice dinner for me and a pal, but it's 0.02 per cent of the price of the house, and therefore negligible. I just can't deal with the internal dissonance.

All I really have to say about it for now, and I guess even that can all be summarized to `gee, I had no control over anything at the closing; what an odd feeling.' More on comparative advantage or something next time.

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